Category Music

Reviewing the ‘Billboard’ Hot 100: Justin Timberlake — “Can’t Stop The Feeling!”

PREVIOUS NO. 1: “One Dance” by Drake. Poor Drake only held the top spot for a week. His next hit will likely be an introspective emotional ditty about the loneliness of being on top for a hot sec. They say they miss the old Drake: We do. [UPDATE: I started writing this before “One Dance” shot […]

Reviewing The ‘Billboard’ Hot 100: Drake — “One Dance”

YOU JUST POSTED ON THE LAST NO. 1 AND DIDN’T WAIT: What’s your deal, internal voice? Don’t be an asshat. You should be happy that I awoke from my arbitrary hibernation to post something. Please try to acquire a modicum of chill. Read on “Panda” here. PREVIOUS NO. 1: I just — ugh. “Panda” by […]

Reviewing the ‘Billboard’ Hot 100: Desiigner — “Panda”

WHY HASN’T THIS POST BEEN WRITTEN IN A YEAR-PLUS?: Shut up. PREVIOUS NO. 1: “Work” by Rihanna WHAT’S THE SONG’S DEAL?: Like Fetty Wap last year, nobody knew who the hell Desiigner was until Kanye West gave his John Hancock-sized signature, with his similarly sized ego attached. Let’s start with meeting Desiigner. He’s a 19-year-old rapper […]

Mourn Like It’s 2016

Prince died Thursday. That really sucked. There’s been a palpable air of being bummed out since. He was only 57 — younger than either of my folks. Selfishly, I was upset I wouldn’t ever have the chance to see him perform. How shitty it is, to think that way. That possibility evaporated and made its way to […]

A running diary of listening to Kanye West’s ‘The Life of Pablo’

The Life of Pablo finally came out Saturday night. I had to listen to it ASAP. So here’s how it happened in my brain. 1. “Ultra Light Beam” IT’S ACTUALLY HERE! I can hear the kids bickering through my headphones. I’m so happy to finally be taken to church with this buttery smooth gospel choir […]

Kanye West Yeezy Season 3 Model Rules, Ranked

The most important ranking of our times, only behind ordering every classless move Cam Newton did last season that greatly upset old white sportswriters. (Note: none of these rules apply to Naomi Campbell. Or Young Thug.)

Reviewing the Billboard Hot 100: “Uptown Funk” — Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars

IS THIS BLOG PRESCIENT?: Hardly! PREVIOUS NO. 1: “Blank Space” — Taylor Swift WHAT’S THE SONG’S DEAL?: Mark Ronson’s been in the production racket for a while, being one of the mastermind’s behind Bruno Mars’ “Locked Out of Heaven,” a shamelessy catchy Police-esque cut as Bruno begs his missus for more sex. Calling this song Police-esque requires you […]