Reviewing The ‘Billboard’ Hot 100: Drake — “One Dance”

YOU JUST POSTED ON THE LAST NO. 1 AND DIDN’T WAIT: What’s your deal, internal voice? Don’t be an asshat. You should be happy that I awoke from my arbitrary hibernation to post something. Please try to acquire a modicum of chill.

Read on “Panda” here.

PREVIOUS NO. 1: I just — ugh. “Panda” by Desiigner

WHAT’S THE SONG’S DEAL?: Oh, Drake. The man finally reached No. 1 without the help of Rihanna. With the release of Views, it makes sense that peak Drake has been achieved in all forms.

All things considered, R&B Drake might be my favorite Drake. Tough Guy With Barz Drake is cool in doses and only when corniness is inherently limited, which, with Drake, is a veritable case of “easier said than done.” The slow jams on Take Care and Nothing Was The Same are some of the best tracks in his oeuvre. Facts only. This Drake wasn’t really on If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late or What A Time To Be Alive, which is too bad. Make more songs for the ladies, Aubs.

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This Drizzy appears on some of Views — more than past releases for sure. The one-two dancehall punch of “Controlla” and “One Dance” is an oasis of happiness and no posturing smack dab in the midst of the 20-song slog. More than the No. 2 “Hotline Bling,” “One Dance” is even more club ready, but less hook repeatable. Clearly that hasn’t hindered Drake’s ascent with his further dive into Afropop. Kyla’s sample on the intro and bridge is a virtuous break. Meanwhile, Wizkid’s contributions are subtler than Drizzy’s awkwardness, but his random fuzzed chanting is a strong melodic addition,

MUSIC VIDEO: There’s not one yet, but let’s use this Aubrey video as it.

https://vine.co/v/iUl1p2tKdOB/embed/simple

Beautiful. There’s also more Drake faux tough guy that he posted after the game — but later deleted. Nothing more fake badass than a Photoshopped Instagram post.

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ALL RIGHT, UUUUUH. A music video would be nice. Clearly it’s not at all needed for Drake to hit a career achievement he’s wanted for a while. He must be thrilled.

 

DON’T CRY, DRAKE OR DRAKE FANS.

PROJECTED LASTING POWER: Maybe a couple weeks. I hope that shitty Mike Posner track with a blatantly cribbed Bob Dylan video stays in its place at Ibiza and No.4. Fifth Harmony is rising, but Drake’s old amour and song partner Rihanna made a stormy debut at No. 9 on the Calvin Harris joint “This Is What You Came For.” It would make so much sense if Rih conquered Drake again.

FAVORITE HOT 100 SONG OF 2016?: Close, but no. Halfway there though!

FAVORITE POP SONG OF 2016?: Nah.

Will is on Twitter here. Give a petty follow.

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One comment

  1. […] NO. 1: “One Dance” by Drake. Poor Drake only held the top spot for a week. His next hit will likely be an introspective […]

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