YOU JUST POSTED ON THE LAST NO. 1 AND DIDN’T WAIT: What’s your deal, internal voice? Don’t be an asshat. You should be happy that I awoke from my arbitrary hibernation to post something. Please try to acquire a modicum of chill. Read on “Panda” here. PREVIOUS NO. 1: I just — ugh. “Panda” by […]

PREVIOUS NO. 1: “One Dance” by Drake. Poor Drake only held the top spot for a week. His next hit will likely be an introspective emotional ditty about the loneliness of being on top for a hot sec. They say they miss the old Drake: We do. [UPDATE: I started writing this before “One Dance” shot […]

WHY HASN’T THIS POST BEEN WRITTEN IN A YEAR-PLUS?: Shut up. PREVIOUS NO. 1: “Work” by Rihanna WHAT’S THE SONG’S DEAL?: Like Fetty Wap last year, nobody knew who the hell Desiigner was until Kanye West gave his John Hancock-sized signature, with his similarly sized ego attached. Let’s start with meeting Desiigner. He’s a 19-year-old rapper […]

Prince died Thursday. That really sucked. There’s been a palpable air of being bummed out since. He was only 57 — younger than either of my folks. Selfishly, I was upset I wouldn’t ever have the chance to see him perform. How shitty it is, to think that way. That possibility evaporated and made its way to […]

The Life of Pablo finally came out Saturday night. I had to listen to it ASAP. So here’s how it happened in my brain. 1. “Ultra Light Beam” IT’S ACTUALLY HERE! I can hear the kids bickering through my headphones. I’m so happy to finally be taken to church with this buttery smooth gospel choir […]

The most important ranking of our times, only behind ordering every classless move Cam Newton did last season that greatly upset old white sportswriters. (Note: none of these rules apply to Naomi Campbell. Or Young Thug.)

If there is one thing to take away from the most recent USC football scandal, it’s not that the program is in disarray. (It looks that way.) It’s not that Pat Haden messed up the biggest hire of his athletic director tenure. (He did.) It’s not that the team entered a season with high expectations and underperformed. (It surely did.) It’s that former head coach Steve Sarkisian needed help.

This post was originally published on Medium. Snappa is a game well equipped for 9 a.m. kickbacks: It’s relatively passive and demands downing around a pint of beer per game. Points are allocated as follows: One point if the die hits the table and bounces off, and an opponent doesn’t catch it with one hand; […]

IS THIS BLOG PRESCIENT?: Hardly! PREVIOUS NO. 1: “Blank Space” — Taylor Swift WHAT’S THE SONG’S DEAL?: Mark Ronson’s been in the production racket for a while, being one of the mastermind’s behind Bruno Mars’ “Locked Out of Heaven,” a shamelessy catchy Police-esque cut as Bruno begs his missus for more sex. Calling this song Police-esque requires you […]

Yikes.